Mindless babble

Wow I have really missed blogging. It seems that lately I have not had the amount of time it takes to sit down and type something. We have had a crazy month of April. Everything started with our landlord being in default on the home that we are currently renting. Then Chirs got laid off, but is still a contract employee getting a commission, which is better than nothing. What a struggle it has been to keep myself sane as my husband has been home for a whole month. My house is showing the signs of me not being able to maintain MY SCHEDULE(because I am a crazy nut, it is a first born thing). I can't think straight in any room of my house because they are all out of order, my order of course, but who else matters. There are moments when I stray from my maker and begin to question what he is doing for me. It seems that with my hubby not working, 6 kids to take care of and homeschool, plus a house, bills, dinner, laundry etc. I have not been able to find time for God. Now I am pretty good about keeping an open line of communication with Him but after 4 weeks I am not sure it is enough. I long for a clean room and 30 uninterupted minutes. The funny thing is, is that even though daddy is sitting in his chair doing nothing, while I have my hands in water up to my elbows washing the dishes, all 6 of my children can walk right past daddy to ask me to do whatever they need. All things that daddy could do just as easily as mommy. Why is it that they seek out mom no matter where or what she is doing? And locking myself in my room is, well you know you are all moms, pointless. I can't seem to find the right balance and of course I know, it is because of these two silly words, My way. I am trying to do things my way and not His way, His all knowing and perfect way. Why am I such a control freak? Why do I want to have control of everything I have a part in? Why is it so hard for me to surrender to His good and perfect will? So as I sit here and allow My Lord to convict me, thank God for blogs. And thank God for all of my friends who love and support me with prayer.